(so I had this dream, and it has so much meaning to me and I don’t want to forget it. If you have the time you can read if you like. its up to you.)
I start off laying down eyes close not nothing where I am. All I hear is water hitting rocks, and rolling up on the land. I then notice I am laying in the water, and all I am doing is floating on the water. I am like a lifeless log just being push by the water, and following every moment the water goes. The sun is bright and the sky have a small amount of clouds. The sky is blue and the clouds just flow with the wind. I close my eyes. As my eyes are close I notice that something is blocking the sun now. I open my eyes and the huge wave is right above me. I still just float there lifelessly, and I don’t panic like I knew this was going to happen. Right before the water hits me I laugh, and then the pressure of the water pushes me down. I go down deeper and deeper. The light slowly dims darker and darker until it is black, and there is no more sound. I can no longer see that blue sky. I slowly drift downwards, and still I am lifeless. I just stare above me even though I can’t see the surface of the water. Little bubbles come out of my nose one by one. This is the part where I would die from lack of oxygen, but I don’t freak out and I just keep blowing bubbles. It is like I took a huge breath before I went down, and I am only exhaling. As I fall deeper and deeper I see a light. It starts off very dim, but then gets brighter and brighter. That light forms a bubble, and there was something in the bubble. The bubble showed pictures, but no not just any pictures. These pictures were my memories. It all starts from the very first memory I can remember. Me back in pre-k. Doing all the coloring, painting, and boy the recess. The little memories here and there and they keep going. As I fall the memories keep coming, and I notice the deeper I go the more up to date my the bubbles become. I see myself growing up. I see myself making the mistakes I have made in the past. I see all the learning I did. All the time I killed playing games. I see all the fights I had with family, and friends. I see my first love, and my first heart break. I see all my memories that I threw away right before my eyes. All the things I wanted to forget, and all the stuff I was running away from. I was being force to watch my life. I had a thought there. Is this me being judge and evaluated. I ask myself if I am dead. I have this feeling that I am not dead, and for some reason I just left at that and went back to the bubbles. So the bubbles are getting more up to date. I am still a lifeless log. I can’t move my arms or legs only my head. I see more memories I that I wish I would have to see. I just keep seeing more mistakes back and forth. The bubbles finally came up to today’s time. The last bubble was a fight I got into a friend. As the bubble goes up its light goes with it. It is becoming dark again. I look towards to the surface of the water, and I am shock to what I see. I see pure black with little lights from bubbles. It was light watching the night sky full of stars. There was so many little lights, but I begin to cry. I didn’t cry to the beauty. I started crying to the fact for every little light there was a mistake I have made.(Also I don’t know how I realize I was crying under water.) I said to myself so this was what I threw away, what I was running away from. What I didn’t want to face. I am not the person who I was trying to be. I deserve to be here. I close my eyes, still floating down, and then I hear a voice. So you realizes why you are hear now. You have chosen to run instead of facing the problems that burden you. Do you want to go back to your life? Those words made me think. More tears came out, and I yelled these words. Why would I want to go back to a life full of mistakes and pain. Why would live if I was not happy. The voice laugh and then speaks. You really don’t see it don’t you. As you were falling you didn’t just see your bad memories, but always your good was. Did you not see them as you fell, or did you let pain stop you from seeing the good things in your life. My eyes slowly open. There was good memories here to. Why didn’t I see them? The voice laughs again and speaks. You let the mistakes in your life take over you conscience. You are so obsess to not making the mistakes again you foolish make more. Instead of worrying to do right just live life. Yes you messed up, but it’s not the end. You have have to face things instead of running. You only focus on not making mistakes you don’t see the good things you have. I want you to forget all the mistakes you just have seen, and watch the memories that you are happy in. Once again the bubbles started to rise up. I see all the memories again, but this time its only the happy ones. All the family trips I been on. All the times I went out with friends. All the parties I went to. All the the people that care about me.One by one they float up. I watch them still like a lifeless log. Tear follow each bubble. Then the last bubble came, and it became dark once again. The voice returned. Do you see now. You have seen pain and suffering, but you have also experience happiness. So I ask you again do you want to go back to this life? I lay there quietly, and close my eyes. I then speak. I have made many bad mistakes, but for each mistakes I have did something right. I have let those painful memories make me think I was always sad, and lost the sight of happiness. So my answer to you is yes. I want to go back, but I won’t be the same. I will no longer panic on each mistake I make, but learn from it and face it. I will no longer run, but fight. At that moment this force push me up. I can see the bright light of the sun on the surface of the water. The darkness of the deep water vanishes, and the light is now there. The force eases up, and gently float up. I made it back to the surface, and I float there eyes close. I then smile and open my eyes to see that I am in my room.
I am the one they call a dreamer. They mock me for always believing in things that seem so hopeless to achieve. I am the loner kid that is always smiling when i am hurt. That kid standing alone in the rain looking to the sky, and always smiling. I am the kid who walks alone, and helps people I meet. All my hopes and dream seem so far off, but I would stop smiling. People may mock me, push me, and put me down, but I still smile at them and give them my friendship. I am the kid who’s head is in the clouds, the kid that smiles, and the kid who we help those in need.
Have nice things is great and all but they don’t make you happy, or lucky. What I really want in life is on the other side of a cliff. It so far that even if I try to grab it I will fall. I just have to find my way to it, and work hard. For the best things in life is not easy. So having mice things is not luck….I am just spoiled.